Endings
by Snow lady
Summary: There is nothing harder then lossing the one you love most. Pillar pair.


Normal Warning: I don't own and boyxboy, don't like, don't read (unbeta as well)

Please review ^_^

Tezuka stared straight-ahead. His eyes were fixed on the casket in front of him, Ryoma's. He just could not understand it, Ryoma was dead. His Ryoma, gone forever, it just did not seem possible. Sitting next to him was Ryoma's mother, and he was not sure how much longer he could handle her sobbing into Nanjiroh's arms and Nanako on his other arm, doing the same. Nanjiroh was, for the first time since Tezuka met him, in a suit, and looked so out of place, lost, that hurt seeing him. The way his eyes had not moved since they sat down from the casket was heart breaking.

He could hear Eiji crying behind him, no doubt being held by Oishi, who also looked close to tears since he walked into the funeral home. Momo was also crying being held by Ann-chan and Taka. Kaidoh and Inui were quietly sitting together, looking stunned. He was sure that if Kaidoh had less self-control, he would be crying as well. By the end, Ryoma had confessed to Tezuka that Kaidoh was like an older brother to him, and Tezuka thought the feeling of brotherhood was shared by Kaidoh. Fuji sat next to Tezuka, opened eyed, and clearly in pain. Every once in awhile he would breath deep, shutter, and twitch slightly.

Next to Fuji was Yuuta, who looked as solemn as many of Ryoma's old rivals turned friends did. Atobe, Sanada, Tachibane, Aoi, Shinji, Yukimaru, and many others of the old middle school tennis days were there. Many had the same sadden stunned expression, that Echizen Ryoma, at age 30, was dead, taken in the prime of his life by a drunk driver. He was the first of the whole group to die. Tezuka knew they were not the only people upset, but the entire tennis community, since Ryoma, and Tezuka, were the "Kings of the Court", a horrible pun that, for whatever reason, Ryoma adored. Ryoma's fans had been sending him many "sorry of your lost" cards. They were dating, and had been dating for close to 15 years. Their relationship became public when they hit the 10 year mark, and knew this would last a lifetime.

Tezuka remembers their coming out, and the shock waves that radiated through the world because of it. The media was not kind, at all, in fact, for the first week, Tezuka was worried they had destroyed themselves with all the articles coming out about them. The fans, though, bounced back quickly and loved them, even more then before. Some hate mail did start coming, but for the most part their fan base grew.

Tezuka's attention was then drawn back to the speaker. It was Fuji speaking now. He had asked to speak, saying it was something he needed to do. Tezuka was a bit glad Fuji asked to do so; he did not think he could handle speaking now. He did not want to break down; it was all he could do sitting there to keep the tears in.

It was getting harder to control his emotions, thanks to Ryoma. Since he had fallen in love with Ryoma, all his emotions seemed to be stronger. He wanted to laugh more, smile more, and cry more. Tezuka remembered the first time he laughed and smiled in front of their friends.

The nine regulars were eating at Taka's place. Tezuka and Ryoma had been dating for a little over year and they were celebrating their coming out to their friends. They were talking quietly, just to themselves, when Ryoma cracked a joke, he didn't even remember what it was. He wished he did. Then he started to laugh softly and realized the room had gone deathly quiet. When he looked over he saw the shock and horrified of all his friends, but Ryoma and Fuji. After a couple of moments they started laughing rather hard, and quickly the mirth spread until everyone was chuckling. Afterwards Fuji pulled him aside and said he was truly happy for Tezuka since Echizen was so good for him.

Tezuka zoned back into Fuji has he began to speak. He spoke of childhood, the bonds between the Segaku tennis team, the bond Ryoma shared with everyone he played. He spoke of the innocent troubles of childhood the team got in, the man dressed as a bear, the juices, the laps, and the laughter. He spoke of the thrill of playing Ryoma, the taunts, the twist service, his cap, "Mada mada dane", his grape ponta.

Tezuka then remembers Ryoma's kisses, how they always had the lightest hint of grape ponta in them. It became one of Tezuka's favorite flavors, though he never drank it himself. He also remembers their first kiss.

They had decided to go pro together, after Tezuka graduated from high school and Ryoma completed his first year. They decided this so their team could have one last super year together and win nationals again. The flight to America was fine. After that there was lost luggage, lost cab, a nasty meal, lost booking in the hotel, and lastly getting a room with only one bed in it. Ryoma sank to the floor and looked up at Tezuka as he closed the door. Then he burst out laughing, long and hard, and soon Tezuka joined him.

"Are you ready Echizen?" asked Tezuka after a few minutes.

"After all this I'm more then ready," replied Ryoma.

"It was a good thing we came a few days early," said Tezuka sitting down next him.

"You know Buchou, one day when we are famous, an interviewer is going to ask us how our first major tournament was, and we will tell them, and no one is going to believe us."

Tezuka remembered the tournament, how they were the two dark horses, who came in and destroyed everyone. How they went to the final together and the rush it brought him. He remembered that he won that tournament, but more importantly, he remembered the night after and the little kiss Ryoma gave him in congratulations. Then the longer, slower, kiss that followed it. Tezuka remembered tasting ponta and loving it.

Tezuka returned to the present and listened to Fuji say how perverse it was that someone like Ryoma had died so suddenly. For Tezuka, though, it felt like a life time, those three agonizing days as Ryoma died so slowly. He was not a wake for most of those days, only long enough to kiss Tezuka good bye and to apologies for the fight. It was the reason he was on the street in the first place. It was wrong, all wrong, that Ryoma had to die for some petty fight. They were just having a bad day, that was all, and Ryoma had just went outside to clear his head. It was not like it was the first time they had fought, and he wished to God that this had not had to be the way it was the last time.

Fuji spoke of what a backwards time it was that one who had so much inside would be the first to let it out. He spoke about how much he would miss his friend who made life so much better for everyone. He said he would never forget the cocky little kid who matured into the man who stunned the world, like everyone knew he would. With that Fuji walked backed to his seat. As Tezuka looked over at him, he could see the tears flowing freely down his face. Yuuta shifted closer to comfortable him, but clearly this loss affected him more then Tezuka thought it would. His attention shifted forward again as Fuji was the last to speak and the ceremony was wrapping up. The actual burial would be happening in a couple of days.

As Tezuka got up to leave he looked at the closed casket one last time. He just could not belief his beautiful Ryoma was lying there. His body destroyed, so deformed no one would be able to see it. He could not stand the fact his last look at his lover would be cover with wires and tubes. He would not even get the peace most people get when they see their love ones lying in the casket almost a sleep. He recalls seeing him in the hospital, but almost shudders at the thought, he tried to push his memories further back, to forget the last form and remember something more pleasant.

He remembers the first time they have sex instead. His body, so beautiful, pure, tan, smooth with hard muscles underneath. That body now deformed. His body that had once been so hot, now cold. A body that was full of life and passion they shared on one of the most memorable nights of his life, dark and empty. No, he had to push those thoughts from his head and remember his life, not his death. He knew as he looked at that casket, even if he lived to 100, he would never forget that night. He would never forget Ryoma's taste, smell, sound, feel, passion, and love.

Tezuka shook those thoughts away. He had to be strong for a little while longer. Since the family already had the good bye dinner, the friends decided to go to Taka's sushi for one last meal. He went to his car and drove over to the sushi bar. Inside he saw the vast majority of his old friends their. He looked over and saw that Fuji and Oishi had saved him a spot between them. As they sat there people were talking about the days back in middle school and high school. They talked about the old drama, rivalries, misadventures, and things they did with Ryoma. As Tezuka listened, enjoying the stories of Ryoma he had never heard before or different versions of stories he knew well, he looked up and saw Ryoma talking on the muted T.V. playing. He jumped up and practically ran to the T.V. to turn it up.

"Tezuka what are you-" started Oishi until he realized what was going on and every one quickly silenced.

Tezuka watched and realized it was the newest interview of Ryoma. It was going to be shown a couple of days ago, but his death pushed it back to the day of the funeral. The interviewer had gotten Ryoma to take her into their home to show the world what their home life was like. The day of the shooting, Tezuka's cousin was giving birth so he was unable to be there.

Ryoma: This here is our kitchen and over there is the dining room

Interviewer: Everything is so neat and organizes.

Ryoma: That's Tezuka for you.

Interviewer: Really?

Ryoma: Yea, he is really neat, almost overly so. He is always battling the cat to prevent complete cat hair coverage on our couch.

Interviewer: Hahaha, really? That is hard to picture.

Ryoma: Well it's true. Over here is our living room.

Interviewer: Look at all the trophies. It is very impressive.

Ryoma: Thanks, and over here are our private rooms.

Interviewer: Private rooms?

Ryoma: Yea a place where we each have our own space. He doesn't try and clean mine and the cat stays out of his.

Interviewer: It seems like Tezuka and your cat do not get along well.

Ryoma: No, they do. There may have been issues in the beginning, since my cat hated him, but now I'd say they are pretty close

Interviewer: Well that's good. Tell me how long exactly have you two been together?

Ryoma: Close to 15 years now, I think

Interviewer: That long? That is very impressive. Do you think you two will ever marry?

Ryoma: No I don't, but that does not really matter. I love him and I think I'll be with him for the rest of my life, and I can't believe I just said that on international T.V, but I do.

The interview was only on for a few more minutes before the station reported Ryoma's death and how their hearts went out to Tezuka and his family, but Tezuka no longer listened. He felt so lost hearing those words. As he stumbled back to the bar, he knew his face must have finally shown his pain from looks he was getting from his friends. As Oishi and Fuji rushed towards him and wrapped their arms around him he finally started to cry.

Hope it isn't too melodramatic.


End file.
